I hope everyone loved this book! Sorry for all the tears, LOL!
Kristin Hannah is probably my favorite author.
So let's get started with some questions!
1. Jude Farraday is obviously a tenacious and committed mother. She very clearly tries to do anything and everything she can to keep her children safe.
Do you think all of this effort makes her a “good” mother? Or is she over-invested in her children’s lives?
Does this kind of micromanaging keep kids safe, or put them in a position where they don’t trust their own judgment?
Kristin Hannah is probably my favorite author.
So let's get started with some questions!
1. Jude Farraday is obviously a tenacious and committed mother. She very clearly tries to do anything and everything she can to keep her children safe.
Do you think all of this effort makes her a “good” mother? Or is she over-invested in her children’s lives?
Does this kind of micromanaging keep kids safe, or put them in a position where they don’t trust their own judgment?
How does Jude succeed in finding this balance?
How does she fail?
6 comments:
1. Tough question. There's no doubt that Jude loves her kids. They hit a certain point where you have to let them make their own mistakes while you are there to catch them (I am totally saying this as a mother of a 17 yo who we are trying to give some freedom to.) Unfortunately for Jude and the kids, this had some horrible repercussions. But I keep thinking back on it and don't know what else she could have done. She's definitely controlling, but honestly, I think she's a good mother.
2. I think after the tragedy is when she failed as a mother. At that point, her life became totally about her grief and I'm sorry...as a mom, that's just not acceptable. Zach needed her compassion and understanding. Instead all he got was her need for retribution, bitterness, and anger. This is where I hurt so much for Zach. He not only lost his other half with Mia, but he lost the love of his life. Jude should have been better and kept that from happening. She failed him as a mother there. She should have been able to see that he needed Lexi and regardless, it was a tragic accident and not gone after the legal prosecution of her.
1. I don't think she's a bad mother, but I do think she was way too overprotective for my liking. She lost the balance between taking care of her kids and taking care of herself, and lost herself along the way. Their lives became her's, which isn't good for anyone in the family. kwim?
2. I think most parents struggle with when to let go of their teens, and the only right answer is the one that works for your family. I do believe that her micromanaging of their lives made her less approachable to them, though, and they were scared to turn to her for fear of disappointing her.
At first (and throughout most of the book)she drove me absolutely NUTS with her micromanaging and worrying about every little detail in her kids' lives... I am the opposite to say the least.. I worry about almost nothing and like things to figure out as they will. I do not try to control life, as I've found it is not something that CAN be controlled... and why stress yourself out with unnecessary worry? I do however believe that her actions were out of pure love for her children and stemmed from the lack of love/involvement that she felt from her own mother.. so I did understand why she was trying to mother in a different way than she grew up with.
I agree with Christi, that Jude definitely failed in keeping the balance between holding on and letting go when Mia died and her grieving went on and on. Definitely not what her husband, son and granddaughter needed at that point. She held on to the loss and let go of the other people in her life. She became selfish, making everything about HER and her process of accepting and dealing with the loss of her daughter. She all but forgot and denied that she had other people in her life who were not only grieving as well, but trying to live and go on after a tragedy.
I think she did find some success in letting go at the end of the book when she accepted Lexi back into their lives.. let Zach decide what he was going to do about his future and Grace's.. and basically stepped back to let the others decide what was best for them.
1. I think that her crazy overprotectiveness came from a place of love which I guess makes her a good mom. But I feel like she was living their lives for them instead of offering them the support they needed to grow up. I feel like over sheltered children like that don't do well in the real world where they have to make their own decisions and fend for themselves.
2. Jude is a crazy control freak and became even worse after. All she does is manipulate her kids's feelings until they do what they want her to do. She was childish and selfish.
Hi! I know I'm like a year after the last comment...but as soon as I finished this book, I picked it up and started it again! I can't get it out of my head! I'm just sooo madddd at Jude for throwing all the blame at Lexi and ruining her life like that!! And so happy that at the end, she has a chance at freedom, thanks to Zach finally acting like an adult and running his own life!!!
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